Thursday, September 2, 2010

Leeb Our E-Noo Ar-Long!

I'm not a huge fan of pets, but I like animals. Mostly... Some of my favorites include the pig, panda, giraffe, turtle (especially the little ones you can get for cheap), cheetah, dolphin, penguin and killer whale. Among others...

So anyways, I was at the supermarket with a friend and I saw a plethora of flavors of food and snacks for dogs. There was pepperoni, chicken liver, pork chops, original... Incidentally, what does original flavored dog food taste like? Unsalted carcass?

The most blasphemous of all is they came out with a new flavor:

Green tea flavor for dogs.

Really? Help me out here dog-owners. Are your dogs on a strict diet of sushi? Do they have chopsticks in their paws slurping up udon, ramen or sukiyaki? Picking at spider and california rolls? Is this why dogs are leaving behind green logs of wasabi on the streets?

Come on people! We've already got green tea in our chewing gum, toothpaste, ice cream, shampoo and Starbucks. How much further are we going to allow this Japanese tomfoolery to infiltrate our lives? Now they're getting at your pets too?

I mean I got'em. Don't know how my friend's dogs liked them.

But I digress. Soon, we'll have 0.03mm condoms in green tea flavor and the Japanese will have completed their domination of our sex lives. Granted, they already have a good head-start with their quality pornography; both real and animated.

So I say we unite against the proliferation of green tea and send them a message loud and strong:


*Leave our "dogs" alone!

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