Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Szechuan Women

Had an interesting conversation with my good friend tonight. He's one of the nicest guys I know: successful yet humble, funny yet never demeaning, smart yet hardworking. But the most amazing thing about this marvelous individual: he's SINGLE! Mental ain't it? To find out why, we summarized different characteristics of women from various Chinese-speaking cities:

HONG KONG WOMEN
- materialistic ("So are men! We just don't have the luxury of having someone else get it for us.")
- aggressive
- too smart ("You mean you prefer dumb girls?")
- gold-diggers ("Yeah... but to quote Chris Rock [again]: I'm not saying he [OJ Simpson] should've killed her, but I understand.")
- think they're prettier than they really are ("Amen to that!")

TAIPEI WOMEN
- LOVE ABC's ("Let's go to Taiwan together bro!")
- smart enough to act dumb at the right times ("That's the most advanced demonstration of intellect! Although it's sometimes difficult to tell if they're acting...")
- way, way, WAY prettier than the previous group... ("Amen to that!")

SHENZHEN WOMEN
- gold-diggers
- 'Nuff said ("Amen to that!")

SZECHUAN WOMEN on the other hand...
- Gentle
- Submissive
- Simple-minded
- Good cooks

Notice I don't have any responses to the Szechuan group because I was too busy laughing. Not to mention the "woman" he was describing was 9 years old... I bet he would fall for Congo Women: not only can they cook, they'll hunt down the meat too! Except for the language barrier I suppose...

Although, not understanding what your woman is saying isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Men are quite used to it.

WINNER:

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