Say Scandalicious

A friend of mine from college is starting to help out on the family business which produces confectionery and sweet treats. We got to talking and in our brief brainstorm, we came up with Scandy: Candy for the Scandalous. So naughty it's scandalicious.

The concept was to market beautifully crafted confectionery which resemble objects that exude sexuality. The launch Scandy will be edible panties and underwear, aptly dubbed Scanties: Lick to Remove. They can then come up with different flavors and designs, like lacy black for licorice, sporty red for cherry and push-up white for a milky flavor.

This is a wonderfully marketable package because sex sells! And the word Scandelicious just rolls off the tongue like you're giving fellatio.

Plus, Scandy will make the perfect gift for your woman. It sure beats trying to pick something out at Victoria Secrets.

I remember the first time I had the preposterous notion of getting my girlfriend underwear as a present. I walked past the Victoria Secret's store umpteen times, bearing the weight of the Angel's feather-covered breasts hanging from a 30-feet billboard with each pass. Only on the eighteenth pass did I gather enough courage to push through those heavy golden doors with the ornate handles.

A gust of orgasmic femininity exhumed from the store which almost made me come. I was greeted by shelves and shelves of bras, negligees and panties of all different shapes, sizes and color. Life-sized posters of the Angels lined the walls. I can hear cupids flapping their wings and strumming harps. Everything was a combination of gold or pink and feathery or lush. The cupids were gold and feathery and the carpets were pink and lush. It was a three-way between heaven, Hugh Hefner's crib and a strip club.

There were barely any people in the store, and all those who were gave me an icy stare as if I was holding a sign with an arrow pointing down at me that read "repeated sex offender".

I was petrified!

These people must think I'm an absolute pervert! I noticed one of the saleswomen making a move. I wasn't sure if she was approaching to serve me or going to call the police. I didn't want to find out, so I got out of there pronto.

Gee, when's Scandy coming out?