Fashion magazines love to give women tips on how to dress with a big photo and cheeky one-liners. I FEED on those articles. Here's a recent one I read on jeans. Now, there are some valid pointers in there but I am more intrigued by the writing style of those short pun-y judgments. Here's my attempt at it for guys:
No:Mimes are notoriously underpaid and poor. Lose the act and get a job to get the girl.
No Way:
No Way:Mark Zuckerbug may make Fortune 500, but never GQ's sexiest. Lose the geeky fake prints and come fix my computer.
No Way:He looks sad despite having chocolate melting over his nipples and armpits. Get with the program boyfriend!
No Freakin' Way:
No Freakin' Way:I'd cover my thighs if they varied so drastically in shade. Dig the eye-patch and the sword, but what's with the extra long tidy whitey draw-strings?
No Way:
No Way:
No Freakin' Way:
No Way:Hide those fatless unhuggable abs. Women love tenderness. Like what you've done with the make-up though. Is that black drool?
No Way:
The grey underwear goes great with the bronzed muscle suit, but someones bound to notice the zipper on the back. Taking a risque?
No Way:Unless you're 6-11, 265lbs and play professional basketball, it's illegal to wear Ed Hardy in 48 states. Not to mention wearing a cap backwards past the age of 6 is punishable by death.
No Freakin' Way:OMG it's Dwight "Chocolate Shoulders" Howard. No freakin' way!
Hmm... all that came frighteningly easy and natural.
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