How to Club?

Dance clubs are a very strange place. A lot of the social norms and physical properties of daily life are abandoned once we pay the cover charge and walk through the doors of the establishment. It feels like we're stepping into a a different dimension.

Your senses for example, are drastically altered. One: you cannot hear shit in a club. The music is deafening and any attempt at conversation will result in a sore throat.

Two: your perception of attractiveness takes a nosedive in proportion to the number of overpriced drinks you have procured and consumed. I avoid this undesired phenomenon, by procuring none and consuming one and only one "complimentary" drink that came with admission. Clearly, that one drink is not complimentary but the most overpriced and restrictive in choice.

Three: you become exponentially more self-conscious because you are thrust into a place where the only options of interaction are not activities you would partake in normally during an average day: a) Drink b) Pick-up girls or c) Dance.

As I have previously explained, option a) is costly and debilitates your perception. However, it does release inhibition in the pursuit of b) because your standards are lowered and you have something to quench your thirst from all the shouting into your target's ear.

c) Dance is my personal choice of interaction at a club, simply because I enjoy it. To just let your inhibitions go and bounce to the music is a feeling like no other. Besides, it might even lead to b) if you know what you're doing. Unfortunately, I don't, so sometimes I just dance to whatever the lyrics are saying. I'll throw my hands in the air, lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back, smack that (could this lead to b??), point to my watch and put up 4 fingers cos' that's all the minutes I've got.

Others, bound by the shackles of societal expectation, refuse to partake in c) unless they have done a considerable amount of a), for they worry about what other people might think when they see their crappy dance moves.

Here's a tip: screw 'em!

As long as you're enjoying yourself, fudge what other people think. You paid as much cover charge as the next guy, so have fun! Go wild! And if other people are having fun laughing at you, let them! They paid cover charge as well so it's their prerogative. Just remember, we're all there to have a good time. Be it drinking and picking up ugly chicks, drinking and dancing to the Great Singapore Workout, just plain drinking and plain dancing to the Great Singapore Workout, whatever!

Just enjoy yourself!

(P.S. Above was the nurse-themed party I went to in Singapore. How the hell did we get suckered into becoming 4 of the 116 who forked out money to see these girls?? I don't even want to look at them now!)