Penguin Race 2015

I have a sudden and intense longing for a toy that I had while I was young. I don't think it actually belonged to me, but I remember seeing it at my Grandma's house whenever I visited. I'd always plead with her to set it up for me to play... In fact, the term"play" is used liberally here, for you really "stare at" more than "play with" it.

The beauty of it is the perpetual motion the little plastic flightless birds are subjected to and the awkward but frighteningly life-like stutter of them climbing up those battery-operated stairs.

This Penguin Race toy is an absolute classic... They sure don't make them like they used to, what with the constant barrage of new video games, action figures and lousy cartoons. Ironically, the most popular toy that's being played today on this side of the globe are tops! Kids buy, customize and battle their plastic tops with a metal ring around them on bellied trays. The tops bounce off each other when they touch, with each contender trying to push the others off the tray. Kinda like Royal Rumble.

Obviously this was made popular by having its own anime series, featuring spiky-haired kids battling other spiky-haired kids for tops supremacy in large-scale tournaments which, incidentally, will determine the fate of the world, that sort of premise.

I guess a cartoon featuring three off-color penguins racing each other on the same track and lumbering up a flight of stairs every episode doesn't exactly deliver top-notch entertainment.

But what if we gave the penguins spiky hair? Make the plastic penguins customizable with different wheels and ball bearings that make them go faster! Add spikes on their bellies so they can take out slower penguins! Add in some sort of save-the-environment type message and catchy theme song (Remember Captain Planet? "Captain Planet! He's our hero! Gonna take pollution down to zero!")

I think we have a franchise on our hands!

"Penguin Race 2015: The Search for the Inconvenient Truth"

Penguin Race 2015: The Search for the Inconvenient Truth" and all its related characters, intellectual property, theme song, weaponry and speed enhancement accessories are all © Copyrighted and ® All rights reserved.

Just kidding...

Unless you actually cash in on this franchise and go on to make millions off it, then © Copyrighted and ® All rights reserved all the way to the court! If you wish to settle, then make one of the characters called "Slamguin". Thanks!