How to Write a Good Commercial Jingle (or not...)

This is the worst commercial jingle ever. It roughly translates to:

***

Small Turtle, Eat so slow

Eat one rice need eat three times

Small mousy, So choosy

Just take peanut chocolate

(My kid is so picky, malnourishment?)

Wyeth Golden PE Go

Five Grain Veg Fruit FishMeatEggAndMilk

Seven main food nutrients

And plus seven lacking nutrients

Double seven combo, nutrients encompassed!

***

And yes, "FishMeatEggandMilk" is rapped as one word. Sue me, but I boldly suggest that my translated version far trumps the original in rhythm and rhyme. Not to mention pronunciation of the lyrics... which is not hard to beat, considering that only about 2% of the Chinese words were correctly pronounced in the original. Sure, you can argue that English is much more forgiving in terms of pronunciation, but 2%?? That's the best you can do? Really?

HOWEVER, market studies have shown that this jingle has become increasingly popular amongst kids and OL (office lady), and have slowly but surely climbed the ringtone download charts. It appears that the advertisers have hit their target market spot-on!

This is the best commercial jingle ever.