Being a Geek is Not Easy

I really regret not knowing what I wanted to do in College.

I half-assed my way to a Bachelor's degree at Berkeley which sounds impressive, but it's not. I had to beg my way to get a C+ on my Complex Analysis class, traded 8am Microeconomics at the farthest building from my apartment for 9am basketball practice at the gym and got a B- for a Business Administration class which everyone told me was an easy A.

Yes, that was enough to get me a degree in Applied Mathematics with emphasis in Economics, but I honestly do not remember a single thing I learned in class. Real sets, complex numbers, sequences, matrix operations, real integrals, complex integrals, derivatives, Marxism, the square root of -1 formally known as i... To me, all these terms are like men's skincare: They mean absolutely nothing to me. I have a naturally radiant complexion, rarely get pimples and even more rarely need to figure out the surface area of irregularly shaped ponds.

Clearly, Applied Mathematics was NOT what I wanted to do in College. Which brings me to this question: If I were given the opportunity for a do-over, what would I have picked, and would I become a geek in that subject?

Well, I can't really speak for my 18-year-old self now, but my best guess is his answer would be, "I don't know, and probably not." On the other hand, as the authority on my 27-year-old self, my answer would be, "Writing, and I really hope I can."

It's always exciting to discover a new shiny object that grabs your attention, but this attraction can be fatal as you get older. Writing is my most recent shiny object, and it is one of the most dangerous of professions because of its volatile commercial nature. You either make it, or you generally don't. There really isn't much in-between in terms of success or failure for the type of writing that I want to be involved in i.e. Hollywood, movies and television. Anything else just would not cut it for me. Setting the bar high is a good practice, except I have a pretty horrendous record of hard work, self-discipline and seeing anything through to the end. Can wanting something bad enough change this? Have I ever even wanted anything bad enough?

To me, becoming a geek is a testament to my resolve. Being a geek means a relentless obsession and profound love for what you do. When one can exhibit such geeky qualities towards a subject, a person or goal, I am confident that one can win and achieve the object of their affection.

Case in point, "The Social Network". Mark Zuckerburg is the definition of geek. Obsessed with algorithms, code and making a name for himself, he founded Facebook. Regardless of his methods or your opinions, you cannot argue that he has become an enormous success. That drive, that obsession, that resolve is what being a geek means to me.

I am seriously considering enrolling myself into the Vancouver Film School full-time for one year starting in August. If I can become a geek during that year, surround myself with fellow geek-writers, geek-actors, geek-directors, geek-make-up artists, geek-sound-engineers, geek-animators, then surely I must want it bad enough, and we will succeed together. But first, I must save up, quit my job, rent out my apartment, relocate, apply, pay tuition and bid farewell to all of my friends, family and the ridiculously comfy comfort zone I have built in Hong Kong for the past 7 years.

Am I geek enough?

Dear David Stern...

My name is Stephen and I am a 27 year-old who lives in Hong Kong.

I intend to come to the United States and road-trip my way across the nation in a red Mustang or yellow Camaro, making stops at all 28 cities that have an NBA team (LA has two, and Torono is in Canada) to catch one home game at each of the cities.

It will be the penultimate American experience.

During my trip, I will blog about the cities that I am in, the games that I attend and the beautiful and magnificent game of basketball. I intend to end my trip in Los Angeles where I will complete a book on this journey across the U.S. of A.

It will be an amazing experience for myself, as well as all the other fans from around the globe who can live vicariously through my blog and book by reading about America, her cities and the National Basketball Association. Basketball is such a universal language of teamwork, sportsmanship and finesse that transcends all racial and ethnic boundaries like no other sport.

I would be deeply appreciative if you could spare just a few minutes of your time to meet with me and allow me the privilege to conduct a short interview with you to include in this project.

My plan is to depart for the United States in the second half of 2011 after I complete my Masters degree in Creative Writing.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Best wishes,

Stephen

Screenplay Analysis: Salt

Ok, I just finished a book called "Screenplay: The Foundation of Screenwriting" by Syd Field, 3rd edition. A fascinating and insightful read assigned to me by my Creative Writing advisor. If any one is interested in writing a screenplay or just intrigued by how films are written, I highly recommend the book.

Anyways, the book states that every movie that we see on the big screens (i.e. scripts or treatments that actually get produced) follows a 3-act paradigm. Beginning, middle and end or setup, conflict and resolution with plot points at the end of acts 1 and 2 that propel the story forward, giving it direction. I believe the edition I had was printed in 1994, so some of the references are quite old. My advisor added a modern additive to the old paradigm called "false resolution" somewhere in the middle of Act 3. Everything else holds.

Moreover, Syd Field highlights the first 10 minutes of a film (or 10 pages of screenplay) as crucial for determining whether we as the viewer (or they as the reader) likes the movie. The first 10 minutes should clearly setup the main character, the premise of the story and the situation of what we will be seeing on screen.

To test out the theory, I bought a ticket to watch "Salt" a few hours ago, and here are my findings.

***SPOILER ALERT***

First 10 minutes

The main character, Salt, a highly trained CIA agent who had seen her share of action in North Korea as an unfortunate captive, is now happily married and looking forward to a normal life if her transfer goes well. That's the premise. The drama heightens when a Russian defector turns himself in at their undercover office.

Act 1: Setup

The defector accuses Salt of being a Russian spy who will kill the President of Russia during the US Vice-presidents funeral. She denies and attempts an elaborate escape from a locked-down CIA office. The plot point is clearly the tagline on the movie poster: "Who is Salt".

Act 2: Conflict

Under the pretense of finding and protecting her husband who is undeniably whirled up in the whole situation, she flees. Then, she appears to kill the Russian president at the US VP's funeral. But then she spares the life of the CIA agent who caught her doing so. But then, when she reunites with the defector who is in fact the one who trained her in Mother Russia, he kills her husband in front of her, which sends her identity i.e. "Who is Salt" spiraling out of orbit. There are many plot points in Act 2 which makes for brilliant conflict, but I believe the key plot point that brings a close to Act 2 is when Salt kills the defector and all the other Russian spies on board for taking her husband's life. Essentially, she defects.

Act 3: Resolution

We know by now Salt is not evil, and she follows through with the dead defector's plan to see how the situation plays out, and possibly stop it from succeeding. I am not sure what the false resolution is. It could be that the Russian president didn't really die (which he didn't); Salt was going to be condemned (but she wasn't) or her former CIA partner who turned out to be another Russian spy would succeed and frame Salt (close, but didn't on both accounts). In the final scene, with the help of the CIA agent she spared in Act 2, Salt's escape is "staged" and let loose on her former brethren.

Thus, the final resolution to the question of "Who is Salt" is this:

a) Salt is indeed a Russian spy

b) But her loyalty lies solely with her husband's safety

c) And since Russia took that away from her, she becomes a weapon against them out of revenge

Alas, the message of the movie is "love conquers all".

Or from the the Russian point of view: Don't send a woman to do a man's job.

Chauvinistic communists bastards!

My Affair with Assassins

So I have to write a thesis for my Masters in Creative Writing. My advisor recommends that I do a full-length screenplay. But first, I will need an idea. I'm written quite a few stories for the class last year, and most of them featured an assassin of sorts.

In my first story, the one I wrote that got me into the program, featured an assassin of humble and low-key demeanor who took the bus and remarked on every little detail. He had a sexy and exotic Thai accomplice who would tell him his next "hit" in a dark, filthy alley. He was obviously infatuated by her.

In a second story, this time a script of sorts, I imagined an assassin of the most sensuous and seductive kind named Megan (for obvious reasons), who had an altercation with a dorky loser in an elevator, but somehow falling for his shameless charm and persistence. There's already a lot of sexual tension and awkwardness when you are in an elevator with somebody hot, but this was amplified by the fact that Megan was scorching and had a gun. Danger and sex do mix into a potent cocktail.

The latest story I wrote with an assassin in it was Smith, a flash fiction of a meager 100-words. This was your run of the mill professional assassin, perched on a roof and making a hit. It is when the reader reads 2 other flash fiction pieces (Debbie and Dr. Mark) that the story expands to more than just another hit.

So I figure my thesis will bound to have an assassin in it. For some reason, I'm thinking of a homosexual one. And the title would be called Brighellina a made-up word for the camp version of Brighella, who is a character in Commedia dell'arte. The Brighella is the "muscle" and "dangerous" character in a comedy who is often portrayed as a butcher or some other middle-class servant.

Just imagine the possibilities of an assassin who wields a pink sniper and is afraid of blood. Or if he's not afraid of blood, he'll know exactly how to clean out the stains or match it perfectly with a pair of red polka-dotted white Lucky jeans.

OR, Brighellina could be a lesbian, just the way Rihanna likes it with Megan Fox.

Hubba hubba!

Drabbles

There is a Drabbles contest on Bookrix that l intend to join. To quote the site, "Drabbles are extremely short stories of exactly 100 words. The challenge is fitting in all the components of a story within a mere 100 words..."

Here's one I adapted from my Supermarket Bouncer piece, and it's exactly 100 words!

**********

Seriously, how long does it take to pick up a carton of milk? It feels like days since she abandoned me at the checkout line. Here I am being an irresponsible supermarket bouncer, letting shopper after shopper go ahead of me unchecked. To pass the time, I examine the products around me and discover more flavors of condoms than gum. Suddenly, I recognize a waving hand just as the lady in front finishes. Clearing a path through unattractive shoppers for my wife, I questioned her about the unprecedented rambutans and missing milk.

"“Sorry honey, I got distracted. Be right back!"

How to Play the "Hello, My Name Is..." Game?

Have you ever been at one of those discussions or workshops where the instructor introduces him or herself and then asks everyone to do the same, suggesting questions to answer in your short spiel about yourself?

I call this the "Hello, My Name Is..." game.

I love those mini segments of showtime and I pride myself in doing a pretty good job at it. But the time leading up to my turn drives me crazy! I get so nervous from simultaneously trying to listen to what others have to say and coming up with an original and humorous plug for myself.

I was at a creative writing workshop one time and the leader asked, "What do you want to write about?"

As we went around the room, I heard people saying, "fantasy, mystery and children fiction" (e.g. Harry Potter, Twilight), "commentary in the form of creative non-fiction" (e.g. Five People You Meet in Heaven, Freakonomics) and "historical fiction" (e.g. Da Vinci Code, The Book Thief). Some even went into the intricacies of their childhood that made them interested in the genre, a book that moved them deeply, how they want to write something for their children to read or they just had too much time on their hands.

All noble, respectable and artistic motivations in pursuing creative writing.

But neither original nor humorous, two qualities I focus on each time I play the "Hello, My Name Is..." game.

Alas, my time has come!

"Hello, my name is Stehajh. Wow. Ymm... I ajut waot to wjtse wtiahevkr meike ormey. So I gkesa... tkes-leph, lextbsahs and eyoci ejiction itlw eb tglit ip mi akkej."

I get so nervous when it's my turn that I could've said that, sure. But I didn't. The inner entertainer in my takes over and goes:

"Hello, my name is Stephen. Wow. Umm... I just want to write whatever makes money. (pause for laughter) So I guess... self-help, textbooks and erotic fiction will be right up my alley."

And scene.

Laughter ensues and we all have a giggle at Stephen for being a silly bunny because nobody writes to make money.

At least nobody in the workshop (pause for misdirection) is willing to admit it.