Iceberg Shatterers

I was at Happy Hour with some old friends and having a blast until some friends of my old friends showed up, meaning I have to meet these new people and put on a charade of making new friends that I don't really need or want.

For one thing, why do we always have to talk about what we do for a living with people we hardly know?

I'm at Happy Hour to get away from work, not talk about it! Besides, there is nothing interesting about being in IT, working with computers, slaving away at ad agencies or the worse of all, being a God damned banker.

Unless your friend is a professional pole dancer, drug dealer or wrestler, I am not interested about his or profession.

But it's hard to meet these people.

So I have devised 10 questions you can try asking when you are at a social gathering that requires you mingle with new acquaintances. These are not mere icebreakers, but iceberg-shatterers:

Q1. Are you a member of any cults or extremist religious sects?

Q2. Do you do Yoga? Can you teach me the downward dog?

Q3. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Do you think it'll work for condoms?

Q4. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

Q5. What's your favorite color, and do you have underwear in that hue?

Q6. What's your take on Inception? Are we all just dreaming?

Q7. Have you ever been in a threesome? Are you open to trying?

Q8. If you had to win at a competition of your choice, what would it be?

Q9. Which is worse? Giving a eulogy or being in the coffin?

Q10. If you had to sleep with somebody in this room, who would it be and why?

Aren't these way more interesting than "what do you do for a living"? Try it sometime and post your results!